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Start with a bit of bubble water. Add a few feathers you found on the ground. Throw in a silver penny and an old whistle. A pinch of black pepper and pollen for sneezes in summer. A dash of glitter for sparkles. A pair of old glasses for squinty little eyes. Stir well, and let simmer for twenty-three years. Then pour into the funniest looking box you can find. Extra points if it plays music.

Serve at seventy four degrees or higher. Any colder, and she whines.